“Don’t Make Me Come Back There!”

“Don’t Make Me Come Back There!”

I don’t think my own father ever said that to me when I was a kid. Perhaps I don’t remember. In any case, I got pretty good at passing the time on road trips … we took quite a few when I was younger. My brother and I didn’t fight that much … at least not in the car. So we never gave dad much cause to bark at us in that way.

Parents of today have all manner of technological innovations available to help them not have to yell back at their kids when they start whining about the length of the road trip. When you’re a parent, as I am, the temptation is frequently to use television as an anecdote to a child’s fussiness, whining, and other emotional manifestations of boredom. The debate on the talk show was about whether or not it was a good idea — philosophically speaking — to let your kids watch a DVD in the car.

I was invited by Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored to participate in an online radio talk show today on the subject of DVD Players in Cars. You can tune in by clicking here.

Once you’ve had a chance to listen to the show, let me know if you have comments!

Blog Tag – I’m “it”!

Anyone ever play Tag? That’s the game where you tag someone, and they become “it” and you chase each other around until someone tags you and you become “it” again and the game continues ad infinitum.

Well this is just like that, except we’re on the Internet, and when you become “it” you have to tell everyone five things about yourself that other folks may not (or, may, actually) know. SO … I’ll tell my five things and if I tag you, then you’re up next. Comment on your own blog, or comment on mine. Whichever works best for you.

I was tagged by Gerald Baron here.

So here goes. My five things. In no particular order –

1) Travel: I have visited all of the 48 contiguous US states. I have never been to Alaska or Hawaii. In fact, I have lived in seven of them (in descending order of time as resident: Colorado, Washington State, Montana, Indiana, New York, Ohio and Massachusetts). If you want to test me, go ahead. I can tell you a story from any of the states I’ve visited. Outside of the US, I’ve been to Canada (does that count?), Spain (twice), Greece, and had a brief layover in the Rome airport (but I don’t count that, usually. Though it is interesting). In spite of all this, I don’t consider myself particularly well-travelled.

2) Theatre: I got my college degree in Drama from The University of Montana. While studying there, a good friend and I founded a summer children’s theatre camp. The Montana economy being what it was at the time, we didn’t want to have to work at McDonald’s, you see. Sadly, the organization no longer exists, but in the memories of the scores of kids who attended during its seven years. I was first introduced to performing in Musicals while attending my high school, Colorado Academy. I played in the chorus of that most ubiquitous of high school musicals, Fiddler on the Roof. Since that time, I have been involved in more than 50 productions. I intend to do some more theatre at some point, though I’m taking a bit of a hiatus for now.

3) Religion: I check the box marked “None”. I’m an atheist. There are no gods, no devils, no heaven, no afterlife. This here and now is all we’ve got. I’d like to use this forum to clear up two common misconceptions about atheists. First of all, “atheist” is a description, not a label. It’s a subtle distinction, I know, but an important one. It describes my views about theology, not a club to which I belong. Which leads me to my second point: The word “atheist” comes from the Greek “atheos” meaning “godless one”. It does not mean that I am out to destroy religion and its followers. Being that America is a predominantly Christian nation, I have many friends and family members who are devoutly religious. I do not share their views and we share a mutual respect. I’m happy to discuss this subject at length with anyone who is interested. Just ask me. As my friend John P. is fond of saying “my religion doesn’t have a problem with other religions. I wish you the best of luck with your faith.”

4) My wife and I met online. We just celebrated our 3rd anniversary. Does that make me an “early adopter”?

5) I once was homeless in New York City. Well, not EXACTLY homeless in a sleeping-on-a-steam-vent sort of way. But my roommate (Phil) and I were evicted from our Manhattan apartment by the NYC Housing Marshal without having any knowledge that it was about to happen. Phil and I were sub-leasing our apartment on East 80th Street from a guy named Alex. Trouble was, Alex wasn’t giving our rent to the landlord. He was putting it in his pocket. For FIVE MONTHS. So she had us evicted. Trouble was, she didn’t know that Alex had even sub-leased to us, and we didn’t know that he hadn’t told her. Phil and I both assumed, because we’re good people, that this Alex character was a decent guy, an honest guy. Well, he wasn’t. So …

So for four days, literally all I had was the clothes I was wearing. I had no address, no clothes, no bed, nothing. Only when we made contact with the landlord and told her our story did she grant permission for us to get all of our stuff out of the City storage facility (which is located in a CHARMING neighborhood in the industrial section of the South Bronx, on a street where the rats do not fear human-kind). After PAYING $500 to get our stuff out of city storage, we had to arrange transportation and sort everything out. When the Marshal and his associates come to clean out your apartment, suffice it to say that they don’t exactly use bubble wrap or label the boxes. I’ll let you use your imagination about the level of chaos that was visited upon us when we unpacked.

After that, I lived on my own until I got married. No more roommates or subleases for me!

6) Okay, I know it was only supposed to be five things … but I couldn’t resist. The sixth thing is that I’ve found out recently that there’s a guy out there who has my same name. But he’s not me. In fact, he’s an author who lives in the UK. His website is here and his blog is here. Check them out. We’ve exchanged a few emails, and he’s commented here on my blog before, and I sincerely hope I get to meet him one day. He seems like a terrific chap.

And now, since I’ve revealed my Five (well, six, actually) Things, I hereby tag the following five (well, six, actually) individuals:

Jake Stanford

Brian Sibley (the other one)

Patrick Van de Wille

Nathan Behan

Matt Fiorillo

Phil Strumpf

How Are We Doing?

My team and I working on a customer satisfaction survey for a client right now. This client is a very successful company, with a huge share of its primary market. The company, like most good companies I know, is continually striving for improvement. They see a survey of their customers to be one vehicle for assessing areas for improvement.

In a meeting with the president last week, where we presented the question set, he brought up a very interesting point. He said the the sales VP’s (who had driven the tone and angle of the lion’s share of the questions),

“You guys skewed this set of questions to target the things you know you’re not doing well. Why do you need the customers to tell you something you already know?”

The company is asking several questions about specific areas in which they know they need improvement (processing returns, packaging & shipping, billing), and none about areas where they truly excel (marketing, sales, management).

This brings up an interesting situation. Given that you almost always find what you’re looking for when doing research , is there any value in researching anything other than what you need to improve? How significantly could this (or any) company benefit from addressing areas of strength rather than weakness? Why is it that we so frequently ask people only what we’re doing wrong, instead of also asking what we’re doing right?

Since people are more likely to tell you when you’re faltering than when you’re excelling, doen’t it seem that perhaps the information that most needs communicating is the positive? Can’t we learn just as much by analyzing data about our strengths? Couldn’t we gain by drawing out that which more people are reluctant to share – the things we do well?

Rummy-Nation …

Walter Pincus wrote in yesterday’s Washington Post about a $10 million per year bid that’s been released by the Pentagon that “calls for extensive monitoring of U.S. and Middle Eastern media in an effort to promote more positive coverage of news from Iraq.”

Rumsfeld has said many times (including earlier this week … see yesterday’s post on this blog) that he’s cranky about how much bad news comes out of Iraq. He often cites that the troops get far more bad press about things like Abu Ghraib and Marine soldier misconduct than they do about good things that happen like the recent announcement about the Medal of Honor recipient.

Donald, if you’re reading this (and I’m sure some one is), first of all: does this surprise you? It should come as no surprise to anyone that bad news sells a lot more papers than good news. Just pick up any newspaper in America. The stories about fuzzy puppies and acts of heroism are almost ALWAYS buried somewhere other than the front page.

Bad news sells.

You can’t censor the bad news to try to manipulate the public into believing that Iraq is going smoothly.

But you’re going to try. And in doing so, you’re going to waste $20 million. We’re not buying it, Donald.

And that goes for you, too. Dubya.

As of today: 2642 American deaths in Iraq.

Bad news, no matter how you look at it.

Feeling morally, intellectually confused?

Donald H. Rumsfeld, our Secreaty of Defense gave a speech Tuesday to the American Legion post in Salt Lake City. The text of the speech can be found here. 

MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann wrote about Rumsfeld’s speech. Here’s an excerpt from Olbermann’s article:

The man who sees absolutes, where all other men see nuances and shades of meaning, is either a prophet, or a quack.

Donald H. Rumsfeld is not a prophet.

Mr. Rumsfeld’s remarkable speech to the American Legion yesterday demands the deep analysis—and the sober contemplation—of every American.

 

Click here for the full article.

 

 

 

The MySpace Experiment

Jerry Pournelle, one of the tech industry’s venerable pundits (who also claims to have started the first blog), was a guest on This Week In Tech a couple of weeks ago. As an almost offhand remark, he mentioned that he has a fictitious character on MySpace. He’s a 13-year-old girl. He mentioned that it’s somewhat disturbing to read some of the comments his character receives on MySpace.
Now this could be interpreted a numbver of ways, but I took it as an interesting opportunity for some first-hand sociological research.
The scenario: set up MySpace account, posing as a teenage girl, to see if it’s possible to make friends, establish an on-line persona successfully.

I plan to do this primarily because I have young daughters who will grow up in the Internet Age. I want to have first hand experience with what sorts of dangers my kids may be facing in the future so I can be a more informed parent. I feel part of my job as a parent is to protect my kids, of course, but also to know as much as I can about the things they will find interesting. By informing myself, I believe that I’ll be better able to make smart decisions about how to educate my children.

When I was  a kid, the biggest dangers I faced were the school bully and falling off my bike. The Internet, for my kids, will open up opportunities for learning, and viewing the world in a global sense, but it will also open them up to dangers that my parents never had to think about. In the spirit of taking the good with the bad, I’m going to conduct some research into what might be out there. I’ll report the results and findings here.

If you have any sugggestions, I’d love to hear them!

-CA

On Profit and The Bible

Bob Pritchett wrote a book recently that has received some notoriety. It’s called “Fire Someone Today (And Other Surprising Tactics for Making Your Business a Success).” In addition to being an author, Bob is a successful entrepreneur. He claims to have started his first business at age six, and is currently president and CEO of Logos, the largest developer of Bible software.

The bible says a lot of things about a lot of things, and one would presume that someone who runs a company devoted to making it easier to study the bible would also be a devotee of its message.

Perhaps I’m being presumptuous. The bible and business have long had an interesting relationship, and a great many people have used biblical principles as justification for advancing their careers and making a profit. But when I see such an obvious example as the one I found on Bob’s Web site the other day, I’m troubled.

Click here. Now maybe Bob’s just being cute. And I’m sure this kind of humor is very popular among business readers who feel that the Profit Motive is one of the highest callings imaginable. This web site, which Bob calls an “Interactive Business Tool … Just For Fun!!!” Asks readers a simple question:

“Is It Profitable?”

If the user clicks “No”, the interactive tool answers “Don’t Do It.”

If the user click “Yes”, the tool says “Consider It.”

This message seems to go directly counter to the overarching message of the bible Pritchett makes his money on.

I’m no biblical scholar, but I seem to hear a lot about biblical messages of charity and giving. And I seems to recollect that it says a lot about the evils of avarice and greed.

To Mr. Pritchett, I would say that there are a great many things that are not “profitable” that should be done. Providing health coverage is not profitable. Paying people a livable wage is not profitable.

And this is precisely why companies like Wal-Mart are so profitable. Because they’ve taken the advice and philosophies of people like Bob Pritchett too literally: if it’s not profitable, they don’t do it.

But even if the company doesn’t pay for those things, the burdens are shifted to the rest of us.

While that may be profitable, how can it be right and just? And what does the bible have to say about these immmoral practices, Mr. Pritchett?

Using all the letters

You probably remember the sentence “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” as being the shortest meaningful sentence that uses all the characters in the Germanic alphabet.

We recently discovered the following, more “grown-up” alternative, which accomplishes the same task:

“Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.”

Something in the water?

Is there something in the water, or is this a new job search method being taught somewhere? I didn’t think it was possible, but I’ve received ANOTHER one of those grossly informal cover letters. I appreciate that these candidates are eager and want desperately to stand out, but this is not the way to go about it. Again, I’ve changed the name to protect the innocent offender.

To Whom It May Concern:

I don’t like to boast, but I am not one of the perky multitude whose cover letters are full of adjectives like eager, enthusiastic, and energetic. It’s almost enough to make you wonder if you’re reading about a person, or a puppy. I prefer the more traditional traits of resourcefulness, determination, and creativity.

I am interested in the [intern] position you recently advertised. I am a recent graduate with a degree in writing, and I am especially interested in pursuing a career in promotions and advertising.

My experience in the field has been limited to freelance and internship work on a small scale, but it has been positive experience. I am comfortable working with minimal direction, though I also understand that this is a highly collaborative business. I learn quickly, and have some experience in graphic design and film production.

Thank you for your consideration. I will include one or two short writing samples to counter-balance my sparse resume. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Jason Ludwig

New trend in job hunting?

I hope not.

I’ve recently posted an internship position. I’m looking for someone with some experience (so they have a rough idea what is going on), but not too much (so they become opinionated and arrogant). Someone who’s dependable and resourceful. I’m looking for someone who will take direction without needing to hold my hand. Sound familiar? Everyone who’s hiring an intern is looking for this person.

I’m looking primarily for someone with a bit of humility, and someone who knows the game of job hunting and knows how to play it. I want this because it shows me that the candidate understands the value of convention and process.

This morning, I received the following cover letter from a would-be candidate. I’ve changed his name to protect his identity. But I want his mistakes to serve as a lesson to all of you who are looking for internships. This guy has just graduated from college, and in my opinion, he hasn’t earned the right to be so informal. If you want to stand out and be different, then work on the quality of your writing, work on your spelling and usage. Above all, don’t try to be cute.

Read his letter, and don’t write anything like it. (Note: The only words I have changed are the author’s name. The rest is posted here exactly as written by the candidate.)

**************************
To Whom It May Concern:

My name is Jonny Callison and I am your man. With the utmost confidence I can guarantee amongst the sea of applicants you may be receiving, none have the personal drive that I myself hold. I have a personal record of obtaining the job I want after every interview I have had. You see, once you meet me face to face, it’s hard to deny my enthusiasm for learning the ins and outs of the company. I am a fresh out of college kid who is ready to be molded and sculpted to perform any task at hand.

I have worked several retail possessions in the past which have taught me a great deal about multitasking, handling extremely stressful situations all while holding on to my patented smile. The area that I most excel in is small group interactions. I tend to take charge in situations to lead successful discussions. My years studying communications have taught me a great deal how to react to any communication situation, getting those who would feel otherwise uncomfortable in interactions to speak their valid opinions. I know how to motivate everyone around me and I know how to ask questions. It seems to me that in today’s world, people in general have become too proud to admit they need help. If I am unsure of a point, I will ask for help.

I have perfect attendance with showing up to work on time, because my work ethic has taught me when you have a responsibility, your personal life goes out the door. When there is a task at hand, you complete that task as soon as possible. On top of all these personal attributes, I am an extremely fun person to have around. Despite my own horn tooting this letter has been, I am a very modest person with a terrific sense of humor. People love to work with me, because I am able to maintain a positive, fun nature about me without affecting my professionalism. I am the best worker you will ever come across, and I have a list of references that would easily back up this statement. All that I need from you now is a chance. Once I’m in the door, you will see how true these points are. You needn’t look any further, you’ve found Jon Callison.

Thank you!